Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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