I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Randomize
