Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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