no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
