perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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