cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
