the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you would pick up someone in the library
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
