Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
