At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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