U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
