Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Found the puke drawer
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
