I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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