And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
