I am in a vortex of obligation.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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