I am in a vortex of obligation.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize