Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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