So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
