She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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