I wish i was in the wii world.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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