butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
