Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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