I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize