She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
