Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize