what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
