i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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