It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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