Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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