An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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