Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
