My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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