You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
