TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
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his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
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I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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