he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
