I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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