I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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