I'm gonna have a badass scar
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I think I am morally bankrupt
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
