nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
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BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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