Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
