so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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