It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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