i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
