C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
