Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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