Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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