Four minutes until I can fart!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i dont even know how to be here
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
