ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
