Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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