You made me cry and you don't even care
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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