dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
