Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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