That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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