It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
