I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
