I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
