I didn't shave. On purpose
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
