ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
