The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize