so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
