I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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